People have been asking me how I spend my days. I dont really do a whole lot and rarely work. I'm more of a life liver. Here's a photo essay.
My day started about 5 am when I woke up for a piss. It was cold so I just went in a jar. I then scratched my ass for an hour and eventually fell asleep.
I eventually woke up around 1ish. The sun was warm and my back was starting to hurt. I was also getting kinda hungry, since I hadn't eaten in awhile. I usually only eat from my work cuz it's free.
I then walked out to my car. Omitted from this photo is an overflowing styrofoam cup full of cigarette butts.
This is Beth. She made me go to some stupid fucking hippie bullshit place to have lunch. Like I don't have to do that shit enough. I fucked up and said I'd have what she was having. This was a fucking salad. There was no bacon and no ranch dressing. Hardly a salad if you ask me.
I'm not sure if I'm more pissed off that she waved at me or that she was riding this piece of shit in an all Latino neighborhood and hadn't had the shit beaten out of her on mere principal alone.
After lunch with my pal Beth I went to see my friend Lynn and her stupid fucking kid Olive. I know you think she's kinda cute and all, but she's the same kid that told me to fuck off about a dozen times and threw up on my couch. She also made me play a game with her that wasn't actually a game, it was watching Aladdin. She also called the princess lady Jasmine an asshole. She also tells people that I was her boyfriend briefly, but broke up with me because I loved her too much. Not true.
This is Lynn. She gave birth to that demon spawn.
Lynn then showed me a picture of her dad and his teammates after winning the basketball tournament at the Mexican prison he was incarcerated in. Guess which one he is? I'll give you a hint. He's the tall white guy on the left.
These were the only 2 records I listened to all day.
When I got home from Lynn's, I was greeted by this fucking asshole. Nice to see you too dickhead. Somewhere around this time I took a 4 hour nap. Please note the cute little swallow his hand. You look like a fucking Suicide Girl.
Iceman came to town. We went to dinner. It was nice. He was about 3 gin and tonics deep at this point.
There was nothing going on so we went downtown. Iceman was now about 10 gin and tonics in, so I decided pull a french goodbye and sneak out the back. Before I left we ran into Robin Williams, who seemed to studying for his next roll as an Alaskan seal hunter.
THE END.
