Tuesday, December 15, 2009

a day in the life of logan.

I've been refereed to as a simple man whose extremely complicated. Complicated it seems to me means retarded. I think more accurately it would be safe to assume that I Logan Dean Worrell am self indulgent, lazy, neuritic and egotistical. Sitting around the house is alot of commitment. You got to have your whole day planned out and still be able to take a little time you good ole' number 1. Example, I know that today I would wake up when i deemed it warm enough to walk to the bathroom naked and once I had smoked a couple cigarettes, eating the cold bbq from last night would be the next move. I figured this would happen around 10 am. After that a possible early morning masturbation would commence followed by a trip to the video store to pick up about 3 dvds that only a teenage girl would watch. Sometime around 3 or 4 was the time I had allotted to completely amerce myself into organizing my records by genre and county of origin. Now, I knew all of this while falling asleep. This was the plan after all and deviating from the plan was just not and option.

This is what actually happened. It was cold and I decided that it was in my best interest to sleep till about 1pm. After my initial rise I chatted with Scott for about an hour while trying to subdue the piss that was building up inside of me. Like I said it was cold and basically sucked real fucking bad, so instead of making the 10 step voyage the water closet I relieved myself in the TOPO CHICO bottle full of cigarette that was sitting on my desk. I underestimated the amount of urine I needed to release so half way through I had to switch from the bottle to a left over WHATABURGER Styrofoam cup from earlier this weekend. This was beneficial for a couple reasons. One, is that I didnt have to waste my time walking to the toilet. Two is that I did get that chance to exercise my KEGAL muscle making my midday jack off sesh all that more exciting. After my piss explosion, it was time to leave the house. Of course I was starving, but duh to the fact that I wanted to save the BBQ for dinner I got my free stuff acquiring on. This is the point in the day when I go all around town going to places where I get free shit. I did that for about 3 hours and came home. Once, I got home I argued with the bank over the phone for awhile. If anybody asks I was out of the country taking care of my girlfriend who got hit by a car and that's what my account was overdrawn 200 bucks. After the nice Wells Fargo lady in the customer services dept. was done commending me for being such a selfless individual, I went ahead and went for round 2 on the hand job tip.

After that I just ended up sitting around eating cold BBQ sandwiches with bread I made Lucas bring home from work. Regardless of what I was supposed to do, I did nothing and still stayed up till 4 am for no reason at all.